History of an introvert

She was seeing a new scene.

A golf course right in the middle of the city. she was sitting by the intramuros wall and finally, for the first time, she could lay down on her back and look at the sky.
Having her special someone beside her, he offered her his arm and made her lie to him.

They were watching the birds fly in the sky.
"Oh how great this could be if we're both really on a big field." she thought.

She was always fascinated by the way the sun would fall down on him. Creating a mood by the soft touch of the mellow sun that's about to hide from the horizon.

Her heart is beating fast. It's the moments like this that makes her cry. She tries hard not to be emotional. To divert her close-to-crying-syndrome, she looks and tries to think other things. But no, her mind would always make her appreciate the thing that is presently happening. His strong hands wrapped around hers, with the sky raining them with its orange rays. The most important fact is, he is smiling at her. She knows he does not share that smile to just anybody.

These are the moments she would daydream while staying alone in the room. The moments after crying from pain, or whenever she feels lonely.

Now that it is happening to her makes her so happy. He was the one to make her feel that in so much happiness, you could cry.

She is having a hard time bearing the outburst of emotions that when it suprises her, all she could do is cry. She was not used to experiencing this. Why is she so fragile in front of him? She cannot keep anything from him.

She used to hate it when tears helplessly fall down, because no one would wipe them away from her.

So much for being independent. So much for saying I can go on my own. so much for saying I can handle my future with just being with myself.

All along, she was lying to herself. She said all these things to convince herself that she's not fragile or vulnerable. All along she realized that it was just courage that was making her run. She was not really strong, she just appears to be. The past suddenly came back. She thought it was all over. She was just running away.

She had been afraid and thought, maybe if i didn't say this or if i didn't do that, it would make me better. It did worked, but only for a moment. The more she had done it, the more it broke her. The more she is trapped and losing the future in her eyes. That is why she didn't plan. She was scared of just failing and expecting.

She was living the past. She needed help.

Her love stories turned to dark. To blood spills and chaos. She had found solace in serial killers and Gothic stories. Her want for violence made her appear strong. She enjoyed killing the zombies in the screen and handling guns made her hands warm. She was overjoyed having this power. A temporary stress reliever

Then her literature professor said to do things. Do this style, it would make you better. That style was non-fiction. Remember your past. But whatever she did, she cannot. It only made her worse. That made her lose her path.


She suddenly realized she was lost.
"Why can't I do this? What's wrong?"

She wasn't able to write. She had seemed to lose her touch. She tried to do things but ended in vain. Something is wrong.

In the end she realized it was because she did not want to face her past and so Reality has to find a way to test her.

The inevitable made her face him. Her most weakness.

Her family tried to keep her in the house to protect her. But what they didn't know her is that she had been emotionally abused in school. Her classmates made fun of her because her mom did not want to let her locks go past her ears. Girls would not make friends with her because she looked like a guy. The boys then would tease her.

What will not kill you would make you stronger.

It was part of growing up anyway. The name calling, the moments they make fun of you till it hurts, the teachers who thought so highly of themselves and also make fun of you. Yes, it is a world of cruelty. She cannot do anything. What could a kid do?

High school came, and some things had changed. The name calling was not for her anymore. She had turn to be a lady who had admirers. But people doesn't change. She is still an introvert. She appeared to be nice and so people took advantage of it. One teacher even scolded her of something she didnt do because she was the who looked like an easy target. But wrong, wrong. Enough of the sad stories. Yes, still an introvert. But wont let the same things pass by.

He was her weakness. She was still a girl after all.

She always smiles. That is what makes her seem nice. But those are polite smiles.

But ever since he came, she had found the difference of a smile meant to be nice and a smile that could make you warm inside.

Her birthday was not spent in her home that made her feel trapped. It was celebrated in a park, with her star having conversations with her. This time, they were sitting under the surface of stars.

Even when she enters a movie house. Now she doesn't end up freezing inside. Because she now have someone to hold her, someone whom she could hug and bury her face into when the romantic scenes tries to intimidate her.

Life wasn't really harsh. He IS part of it... and It just taught her how to smile.